My PIX11 @ 10 Top 10

As you may or may not know, I work freelance in the TV news arena.  Living in suburban Connecticut, I had always preferred to get my news from New York City.   Quite frankly, the Hartford and New Haven stations aren't relevant to me.  A Dunkin Donuts armed robbery in Prospect doesn't mean a rat's patootie when you live in lower Fairfield County.

My go-to station as a youngster was Channel 5 WNEW back in the days of John Roland. If you are old enough, you'll remember when they covered such hard-hitting (and scary!) stories such as the Son of Sam murders and that real-life Travis Bickle, Bernhard Goetz.  Then the station changed names and became FOX 5 WNYW as it remains today.  In my opinion, Fox 5 is the McDonald's of metropolitan news.  Channel 11 has always been close second, so we'll refer to it as Burger King.  But hold on: There's been some changes as of late. (Well, since last October, but pardon me all over the place….I'm slow!)

PIX 11 slightly tweaked their 10 o'clock show.  Slightly?  Well, they did a complete overhaul.  Have you seen it?  Do you like it?  Well, who cares what you think….I love it!  And you know what?  I'd also rather eat at Burger King!  That's right.  I was once a die hard Fox 5 fan, but I've jumped ship like you wouldn't believe.  And I've got sound reasoning to back up my decision.

This new format is absolutely a "love it or hate it" thing.  There is no in between, and that's not up for debate.  It's been bashed to high hell, being called everything from "assembly line newscasting" to "an iphone app".  Never one to flow with the critics, I have a different opinion.  And I've been taking notes.  So now, with no further ado, here's my top 10 reasons for watching the revolutionary new PIX11 at 10.

10.  The A Block, AKA The Pix 11 at 10:  Yes, they use trade terminology talking about rundowns and blocks.  Why not just tell the audience about thumbsuckers and evergreens?  I'll let that slide.  Moving on, I like the little story preview icons that run on the bottom of the screen.  Not that I need to know what the next 5 stories are going to be, but it's kind of cool.  I like their green screen setup.  I like the whole walking through the studio.  Like, like, like.

9.  The Editorializing:  I'm taking this show with a grain of salt and loving every minute of it.  Once the, ahem, "hard" news is out of the way, it's off to the races.  Who's the guy who stands in front of the stone wall and does his spiel?  Well, I like the After Effects graphics on the building.  Clever.  Greg Mocker does a good job as well.  People gotta be cringing when the PIX11 News Team shows up at their door.

8. They Stand Up For The Little Guy:  All the consumer affairs segments they do, as well as segments like "Ugliest House Contest".  I approve.  Sure, they're trashy, but by all accounts, living in the metropolitan area can be a real miserable experience.  I'm glad these guys are blowing the whistle on scumbag landlords, swindling contractors and shifty politicians.  I like the consumer advocate who wears the pith helmet.  Where is he going?  On a safari?  You want to be memorable on screen?  Get a signature hat, problem solved.

7.  Monica Morales: She has a nice voice.

6. Mr. G's Weather: Well, I'm not a *huge* fan, but he seems like a pleasant enough man and you gotta know what the forecast is for tomorrow, right?


5. They Moved Kaity Tong Out Of The Studio And Put Her On Some Island: N/T

4. The Lincoln Strictly Business Report: And that it is.  Stocks and a few quick biz stories.  And I like that music bed they occasionally use.  No, not that one.  The other one.  You know I'd like to take this opportunity to point out that the PIX 11 10 o'clock graphics are very minimalist, but it all works well.  No lightning bolts or crazy-ass chrome lettering.  Lots of black screen, but like Thelonious Monk said, it's not the notes you play, it's the notes you DON'T play.

3. They Only Do One Minute of Sports:  Thank God.  Not that I have anything against big league competitive games, but if I want the scores, I'll watch ESPN.

2. Lionel:  He's radical, he's subversive.  I love his rants.  Not something you'd see in your typical newscast.  Maybe because most typical NY newscasts are focused on the score of the Yankee's game and 4 weather hits.  This isn't your typical crybaby liberal stuff like, "Oh, Michele Bachman doesn't know about the Revolutionary War.  Look at me, I'm so smug."  No, what Lionel is doing is subtlety working his viewers into a lather that may end in a coup d'état.  In a very non-polarized manner, I might add.  At the very least, he's getting people to think about their government.

I just get the feeling they're gonna take ol' Lionel away in the middle of the night, OR he's going to incite this country into revolution.  Until then, whichever comes first, I'm tuned in.  BTW, this guy knows how to write a tease.  Producers, if you want your audience to stick around, take a cue from Lionel.

1. Jodi:  The News Vixen of the Tri-State area, Jodi Applegate is what makes this whole thing worth watching.  I used to enjoy her when she was on "Come On, Wake Up New York" on Fox 5.  I'd love to know why she left.  Then she was at News 12 Long Island, but now she's back in the Big City.  Did you ever see that thing on Youtube where those two losers tried to punk her by cutting a bike chain?  And they had the fake blood?  And she totally lost it?  "We'll be right back after this.  That was not cool, dude."  Well, back to present day, she makes it look easy. Big fan.

So that's it.  Now to the staff of PIX 11, should you stumble across this article, do the right thing: Hire me as a producer!  I can start tomorrow.

The rest of you?  If you haven't seen the show, tune in tonight!  And comment as you see fit.

PS-Another reason that PIX is my new Fox 5…..they got Seinfeld at 11!  That's right, and it's in glorious HD.  Make the switch!

Praise the Lard: Bonus Breasts

I've uncovered more information about Chick-fil-A.  Rather than edit it in to the existing article, I'm just going to create a new, much shorter post.

Check this out: On the subject of Chick-fil-A and Connecticut, did you know that the co-administrator of the restaurant's Facebook fan page is a Connecticut resident?  Are you f-ing kidding me?  The page has 4,192,650 fans at press time.  (Actually make that 4,192,651…..I just signed up)  Read the AdWeek article here if you don't believe me.

It's amazing.  They were going to try and claim the site from Brandy Bitzer, but decided she was such a rabid fan that they would share administrative duties with her instead.  So let me get this straight: The site admin is from Connecticut, but we can't have a restaurant here?  That blows my mind.  Bitzer, you got any pull?  Let's get a Chick-fil-A up in this piece!  Don't make me sic the Enforcer Army on you.

Shot stolen from some wedding photographer

One girl who is apparently a Connecticut wedding photographer came up with a convoluted way to transport a Chick-fil-A sandwich from New Jersey back to the Nutmeg State for her boyfriend.  Read her story here.  A for effort, but I'd probably just end up eating everything in the parking lot.  The boyfriend should put down the Playstation and get his own food, right?

Enough talk.  At this point, I have one foot out the door on a mission to Paramus.  It's delicious, bitch!

I Can't Believe The Price (You'd) Pay

I’m more aggravated than a liberal hipster who just heard someone mention the Monsanto Corporation over some overpriced bullshit.  What are we plagued with on the evening news?  A smattering of “in these trying times” and “ financial troubles from Wall Street to Main Street”.  Well, apparently someone has some disposable income, namely your average metalhead.


Get this:  I was watching an Agnostic Front video that someone linked on Facebook which had a banner ad running for a concert event known as “The Big 4” at Yankee Stadium.  Hmmmm…..  This concert features perennial heavy hitters Megadeth, Anthrax, Slayer and Metallica.  And no, you haven’t stumbled into a time machine and been transported to the year 1988. It’s 2011, but somehow these bands still have universal appeal.  Perhaps more so now than 20 years ago.

As for this promo poster, it's a fairly crappy layout.  You know what would have been cool?  If they got Pushead to draw up some rotting corpse in a ripped up baseball outfit. What we've got here is about as pedestrian as it gets.


Wait, where was I?  


Would I like to go to this concert?  Hell f’n yeah, I would!  So let's jump on tickemaster.com and see what the average ticket is going for.  First off, the “cheap”  $90 nosebleed tickets are long gone.  So I put a speculative request in for any available tickets.  You can see the screen shot below for the breakdown.

Ouch.  $239.60.  Plus I’m sure there would be a shit-ton of taxes and surcharges tacked on top of that, right????  Now maybe I'm out of touch with what a concert ticket should cost and maybe I'm just a fuddy-duddy (teeheeheehee)  Am I wrong, or is this just an INSANE amount to be spending on a bunch of retro heavy metal bands????


Slightly off topic, didja ever notice when you go to sporting events or concerts, the lowest common denominator always has WADS OF CASH?  Ever heard of a bank?  Apparently the week's entire paycheck is cashed out and in pocket so drunk dude can buy plenty of beer, hotdogs and any other snacks that vendors are hawking.  And $45 t-shirts.

So who’s getting rich off this Big $ Concert?  (I'll bet most of the loot is going straight to that Lars Ulrich.  What a dick he is!) These are insanely stupid-high prices to see some thrashin’.  And most of these tickets have been snapped up, I would assume at this time by the sleazy power wolf ticket brokers.  But they will find buyers.


Now if these tickets are in such demand (call me crazy here)  Don't you think MULTIPLE SHOWS wold be a good idea?  How 'bout wait until the Yanks are out of town for a few days (No, I'm not about to look up their schedule) and book like 4 or 5 nights in a row.  Perhaps that might bring down those ticket prices.

God God (Or should I say Good Satan?)  At least I got to see Slayer at Toad’s Place where the fans ripped down that stupid chain link divider between the bar area and the kid’s section.  Now that was some good fun at a reasonable price. 

As for this concert, I pray that Yankee Stadium gets annihilated by a bunch of drunken Hessians.  That’ll teach the Pinstripe Empire to be part of this outlandish mugging.  And at this point, it's probably just sour grapes, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and predict that no matter where you're sitting, the sound is gonna SUCK in the house that uncouth built.

BTW, I love the har-larious reader comments on brooklynvegan.com:

“More like the OLD four. Seeing old dudes play metal is hilarious, almost as funny as aging rappers.”
As much as this makes me chuckle, I must say those who choose to ignore (or make fun of) the past are doomed to play and listen to average, forgettable music.

Consumer Report: B&H Photo & Video

That's right. I'm a consumer and here's my report:

I'm madder than a highway patrolman on the opening night of Fast 5 over the latest bullsh*t saga of the week.

B&H, I love you, but tonight, I really hate you.

Quick backstory: I am in the market for a nice HD monitor for my editing system. I need a screen I can reference while I'm editing now that everything has gone high def. I guess the little JVC 9" monitor isn't cutting the mustard anymore. RIP, standard def.

I found a very nicely-priced Sony 40" with 120Hz frame rate on the B&H website around 3PM. The price was around $630, $650 tops. So I put it in my "cart". But then I got pulled away for a few hours. I got back on the computer shortly after 6PM to buy it.

Lo and behold, the price has now hiked itself up to $763. ????? Are you f-ing kidding me?

So I tried calling….no phone customer service after 6. Then I got in their online chat service. I wish I saved the transcription, but I'll give you the gist of it:

Me: I put this monitor in my cart at $630 and the price has jumped up to $763 in the span of two hours. WTF????

B&H Phone dude: That was a daily special. It's over now. Putting the item in your cart doesn't mean you get it at that price.

Me: I'm tired and can't think of any witty comebacks. You guys suck!

Well now, I didn't say that last part. But I have to point out at this time I have spent thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars at B&H. Both personally, and recommending purchases for the multi-million dollar corporations I've worked for. And I wasn't gonna get into that with the online customer service. I shouldn't have to.

In my perfect world, the correct answer would have been, "Yes, I can see you wanted to buy that TV earlier today. We will honor the price of $630. I'll help you ring up that order now."

Memo to B&H: If you put an item for sale at a certain price, friggin' honor that price, at least for a 24 hour period!

So now here is an online article to crummy up your reputation, complete with tags and all. All over 100 bucks and change. And I know from experience that B&H loses their marbles whenever someone talks ill of them on message boards. So in the future, be more like Walmart and "match that price". Especially since it's your own.

Off to Costco. They've got a monitor for about the same price. And hopefully less aggravation.

*Grumble* I'm still gonna need that Blackmagic HD Link Pro from you guys….. Dammit! B&H got the world by the balls.